Today is the second anniversary of the death of my father. He was only sixty-two when he passed away in 2006. Whenever I think of him, I think of happy memories. He was such a loving, selfless person – a father in the truest sense of the word.
He was always there for me (I’m sure my two brothers would say exactly the same thing), especially during those very significant moments in my childhood – first day in school, fight with other kids, first communion, graduation, even on my first date with my first girlfriend. My father had a healthy sense of humor. He was very optimistic and had always something positive to say about another person. When he returned home from work each day he would bring us pasalubong (bread or candies).
My father was a factory worker. He loved plants and animals, except dogs. He calls his pig and cows by the personal names he gave them. My mother was a full-time homemaker until 1988 and now she tends her own small store. She is such a responsible mother and a loving wife. Both my parents taught us Christian values, prayer and household chores. As early as our pre-elementary years we already knew how to cook, wash and iron clothes, clean the house, and lead the rosary.
Both my parents were so poor our house has never been completed, even up to now. It is continuously undergoing construction and renovation. In my childhood our house was so small it consisted only of two rooms – a bedroom and a ?multi-purpose? room, where you do everything else, like eating, playing, socializing, reading, watching tv, preparing food, etc. Over time more rooms were added. At present it has three bedrooms, a large living room and a separate dining area and kitchen. But when I was a child we slept side by side, usually in this order – father, my younger brother, mother, myself, and my elder brother.
We prayed the rosary every angelus time. Both my parents have deep faith in God. They seemed to spend more time in the church than anywhere else. Papa was a parish lay minister and mama was an active member of many religious organizations like CWL. Every Sunday we?d go to church as a family to attend mass. We had a motorcycle for a ride. I don?t know if you can imagine it, but the five of us could really fit into papa?s Yamaha motorbike.
It was our way life. We were always tight – our house was small and we had a motorbike for a family ride. But this experience of poverty taught me that less is often more. We did not have a big house so we got to bump into each other more. Because we only had little food, we learned to share and to eat together. Because we only had a motorcycle for a ride, we learned to stick together. Because we only had one bedroom, we learned to stay close to each other. Because we did not have a maid, we learned to do things together. Because we could not depend on our own strength we depended on Divine Providence. All those experiences of our own poverty drew us closer together and closer to God.
Having lost my mom two years ago, it pains me every time I realize that I haven?t given her much; I haven?t given her the comfort and the life that she deserved. But, this morning, inside the bus on my way to work, I remember her and her selfless ways. I know she?s telling me, I even imagine her scolding me, and she tells me to remember her without regrets. It?s not about what I wasn?t able to give her because I still have my whole life to give back to other people.
Thank you Father for sharing this, I?m glad that every time you remember your Papa, you remember him with happy thoughts. I hope in time, I will be able to do that lest I want my mom to continually scold me. Come to think of it, I really miss her doing just that.
In life, it is not how rich or how poor you are that matter, but how happy you are. You seemed to have such a happy childhood. Your family bind by love for one another and your parents instilled such great values in you. Those are more important and are placed with higher value than money can buy.
We were poor too when we were kids, but we never felt poor as we were rich in love.
In this age of modern technology where people aspire for more material wealth, comfort and luxury, may your story serve as an inspiration to many to look far beyond acquiring material possessions and to put more value on family, faith and love.
And to you, Fr. Stephen wherever your papa is , I am sure he is proud of you as you are proud of him.
Dear Fr. Bobby,
What a beautiful sharing of your life story! I can definitely relate to it since I’d been there myself. Bbut look where you are now. Traveling around the world, meeting all kinds of people, and very popular, too. Smile!!!
Stay where you are. That’s where God wants you to be.
By the way, I met Fr. Rene Mercader here in the U.S. last month during their mission app[eal. Don’t you look alike? Mga “pogi” nga pagka bata. Ha ha ha.
Sisterly,
Che-Che
Hi Pads!
Thanks for sharing that. It reminded me of a blog on my mom I wrote years ago. Read it again just now and I couldn’t help but smile and feel loved. It also encouraged me to write one on my dad. I realized that even with their weaknesses I have been loved unconditionally by them and I have been loved to last me my lifetime.
Dear Fr. Stephen,
I remembered him too because I know it was his death anniversary. I am praying for him and also asking for him to pray for me and for my intentions. And one time he immediately answered by prayer. Ang galing niyang intercessor.
I am happy to know your childhood experiences and reflections on it. May you continue to proclaim God’s love through your sharings and reflections.
gud day father, i was just lazily browsing old man pix walking in google that i can possibly use for the short presentation of our Newly registered foundation…this one felt so differently…its speaks silently but it touches me strongly. it is just like a poem full of meanings tho it was just simply written…maybe the tittle touched me too…remembering papa…i cant express the exact impact on me but its so peaceful not sad, so calm yet affecting..so serene and yet so moving..
i was just suppose to ask permission if i ca n use this picture or pictures in my presentation and put an acknowledgement where and whom it belongs but then now i have mixed emotions…i can simply copy it anyway it was just a short simple one but i felt so drawn to ask your permission and writing you personally instead…
i got so teary eyed when i read the full article about your papa. somehow our family was almost similar to yours…my father was an acolyte before and theyre from the Family of Bishops (Bishop Arcilla of legaspi, Bishop Sora of naga and Bishop Manolo of catanduanez or virac are all my fathers roots, tho our Patriarch, a layman Hipolito Arcilla was born in Pampanga and marry a lass from De Jesus Clan in Bicol)
My Mother was a Carmelite Sister (carmalite missionaries) before she got married to my father..it was a long beautiful and sad story…i think this will take too long of a time to tell
but we still have a Benedictine nun from my mothers side…we regularly visit the My tita Sor Aurora, in the monastery in vigan beacuse shes already 89 years old and just had her golden jubillee in 1999. my mother was the president of Nais ng Ina a year ago and still very active in church…I was born in this kind of environment and i myself tried the seminary but its another long story… i just mentioned these Father, to identify myself but these are not so significant the way your pictures and article touched my attention…or maybe it is..coz honestly our family loved each other ilove y father but we never had those moments you had with yours which ive been dreaming when i was a kid…for so many reasons during my time was the most dificult time in the family. Tho My Mothers family have lands and are cousins to the Quezon’s (Manuel Quezon) we are not so lucky with some other things…during my time was the most challenging part on my parents relationship and econimic situation…i envy your childhood in a way, but i had my moments too! in some other aspects…well my life is better now but still i have the heart for your kind of stories and definitely the expressions of your art..
last year i was in europe…i had some concerts for the filipino communities then i had a month of vacation touring scandinavial countries, next year i will be having shows in Germany again for Fil communities and will tour Austria, Rome and Switzerland etc after…(thing i notice another common denominator…travelling. thats my thing as well)
Am still very passionate with the idea of borrowing some of your pictures because i relate to them tremendously or its speaks to me the way i want our faoundation to speak to people. but i still wish to hear from you if it will be possible.
pls visit http://capablefoundation.net63.net or email us at: capable_foundation@yahoo.com
Sincerely,
J. Arcilla
Father another apology…am new to blog things not to the tech tho…but as much i want to send you a letter its the only way i saw it…i was suppose to look for an email ad of your office or something but cant find somewhere in this page ( i even hsve some typo err like my father, and scandinavian country.
j.a.
@ J.A. – I’m only able to reply now because I was out on a 5-day spiritual retreat in Batangas. You have my permission to use any of my photos for your foundation’s website.
Remembering your Papa, I remembered my Tatay and Nanay too. Heavenly peace/happiness/rest be with them. Knowing they are now in God’s
kingdom. May the Love graces of our Lord God and peace be with you always.